That is why the gatekeepers of Chinnaswamy tried to prevent spectators from entering the site for as long as possible this morning. They had read the chai leaves and recognized the omens that are taking over Test cricket and were only trying to save thousands from the pain. Still, we threatened to break down the gates, shouting and demanding to be let in. Perhaps whatever happens is entirely our own fault: India’s worst day of Test cricket at home.

PREMIUM

Those signs and omens? Three days ago, Gautam Gambhir said that if his team “can play the natural game, if they can get 400-500 runs a day, then why not? We’ll play it that way: high risk, high reward; risky, many failures… There will be days when we are bundled for 100.” 100 today wouldn’t have been peachy. A day before the match, BCCI and other associated social media accounts celebrated the fact that New Zealand had not won a Test in India for 35 years.

You don’t do that. It may seem like a trendy in-ya-face-ya-mok confidence going viral on the internet and yes, try it in white ball cricket. But please stop with the demanding, temperamental creature called Test cricket, which has been around for almost 150 years anyway, longer than you, me and all of us. In his vocabulary, anything viral is a disease that must be banished. Yes, Kanpur was wonderfully mad and wonderfully angry, giving many the ‘India saves Test cricket’ headlines, but what happens in Kanpur should fundamentally stay in Kanpur.

Not being transported to Bangalore in one day of two halves, actually more like a third, two thirds. A third in Nottingham on a grey, dreary day, talking the ball, biting and sniping. Two-thirds in Kotla on his graveyard shift, as the sun shines and urban kites circle over bleached bones from the first Indian innings.

At the Chinnaswamy P Terrace, as the Indian innings imploded, in the face of a New Zealand attack that took the air out of the air, the wicket bounced and help from a surface that had sweated for days, confusion reigned everywhere. First, why were we hitting? Second, what was this batting order? Third, what was this at bat? Yasser from Melbourne is only here for this one day of the Test, which leaves tomorrow. Dhruv has traveled from Delhi to watch this single Test in the series. Everyone has the right to know.

Reports from the press box say the wicket had not been watered for a few days before the Test. It would be dry and break, hence three spinners and New Zealand bats at fourth. There is contemptuous mockery – planning the other team’s fourth inning before figuring out how to meaningfully survive the first session. As wickets fall, the batting order resembles scrambled eggs. After the openers no one is where they should be and before you know it everyone is lost. As sharp as the bowling and fielding is, the dismissals are terrible: some caused by persistent pressure and the frozen scoreboard, others by curious shot selection. We rate them in degrees of severity: Jadeja’s flapping move at the stroke of lunch wins in terms of situation, timing and execution. Every New Zealand run under the sun stings the heart – a reminder of what awaited India had they kept their heads down.

Heads, hearts, everything has been stirred. Past names are used – ‘Chepu’ ‘Puji’ ‘Pujaraa-Rahaane-man’ and a few mistakes in WWDD What Would Dravid Do. (If he was still a coach, maybe throw a chair or two). There is a wave of arms and a nod of the head towards the media box, where Sunil Gavaskar sits in a corner between stints. His mantra ‘give the first session to the bowlers’ is said like a prayer.

Early in the New Zealand innings, Tom Latham is dropped by KL Rahul at Siraj’s second slip. The massive replay shows that Rahul has reacted late, with his head veering away from the ball and his hands waving at it as it passes. Abhijeet in the row behind me puts it best: “KL Rahul hits at second slip.” Waving from the line of one of those elongated Kiwi pacaments.

Everyone around is laughing, there is no point in crying. There’s more to come: chances fall short or fall away, stumpings whiz past or are missed, a yes-no-maybe between the batters is lost as Jadeja drives the ball towards the end without danger. Rishabh Pant staggers away in pain. Nothing is going right for India today because they are starting on the wrong note.

At the end of the day, permutations and combinations are formulated to save the game. Rain? There is a lot of grumbling. What are we going to do in BGT? Better here than at the Gabba, baba. I get a message, better now than in the final. WTC final of course. Indian cricket fans will never stop dreaming ahead.

But if New Zealand doesn’t seize the opportunity to win this Test, it will be another 35 years before the next opportunity comes along. By then, who knows, Test cricket itself might be… you know the rest. Another prophecy becomes difficult to ignore. Lalith traveled an hour and a half to reach the ground in plenty of time for the throw before discovering the gates were closed. Wait for it, he says, the wickets for the next two Tests (Pune and Mumbai) will be rank turners. India wins 2-1, everyone forgets 46 all out.

Suddenly I think of another set of Gambhirims. As of 2012, after losing seven consecutive Tests in England, he says: ‘Once these people come to India, we should not hesitate to make gymnasts… and (look what happens with) the kind of talk they do when we go abroad. and they talk about our techniques.” Has anyone placed bets on Pune and Mumbai?