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    • Shawn Mendes sexuality commentary and the problem with speculating
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    Shawn Mendes sexuality commentary and the problem with speculating

    Vaseline Posted on

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    Shawn Mendes lets us in.

    The singer opened up about his sexuality during a concert on Monday evening – a much-discussed topic among fans, casual spectators and many members of the LGBTQ+ community. He said that “sexuality is so beautifully complex, and it’s so hard to put it into boxes.”

    Mendes continued: “It always felt like an infringement on something very personal to me. Something I was figuring out within myself, something I had yet to discover and have yet to discover… The real truth about my life and my sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out, like everyone else. Sometimes I don’t really know and sometimes I do. And it feels really scary because we live in a society that has a lot to say about that And I try to be really brave and allow myself to be human and feel things. And that’s all I want to say about that for now.

    Celebrities regularly face speculation about their sexuality: Kit Connor, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, to name a few. But should they, especially if they’re still “inventing it like everyone else?” And should they even say anything about it?

    The short answer: No. Because the consequences, especially if someone is pushed out, can be serious. Take a look at the anti-LGBTQ legislation from social media or Google in the US and see why.

    Coming out isn’t really over yet. This is why.

    Speculating about sexuality is intrusive

    Kit Connor, star of Netflix’s “Heartstopper,” came out as bisexual two years ago. But not the way he wanted.

    “Back up for a moment. I’m bi. Congratulations on forcing an 18 year old to leave himself,” Connor wrote in a short tweet. “I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye.”

    The gay coming-of-age drama ‘Heartstopper’ focuses on a budding romance between high school students Nick and Charlie (played by Connor and Joe Locke, respectively) with Nick unsure of his sexuality. Fans accused the star of “queerbaiting,” in which a heterosexual, cisgender person appears to make money from LGBTQ fashion, music, acting roles and more.

    That debacle highlighted what happens when queerbaiting goes wrong. “There is a huge difference between audiences raising legitimate concerns about exploitative, LGBTQ-mediated representations and queerbaiting and online trolling…” Melvin Williams, associate professor of communication and media studies at Pace University, previously told USA TODAY.

    The same can be said about Mendes. For a star who hasn’t actually said anything definitive about his sexuality, countless social media posts are happy to talk about it without evidence. Of course, everyone is free to discuss whatever they want in private. But talking about someone’s sexuality in a public forum when he or she doesn’t feel comfortable doing so is a very different kind of violation.

    ‘Heartstopper’ tackled teen sex. It led to an important conversation.

    Shawn Mendes doesn’t owe us an answer

    However, shouldn’t celebrities expect questions about their personal lives, unlike the average person?

    Yes and no. “The nature of celebrity journalism is to gather as much information as possible about celebrities that we arguably know too well,” Williams explains. “Yet celebrities and non-celebrities do not owe the public confirmation or explanation about their sexual orientation, and disclosures should remain a matter of choice.”

    Experts say people should never feel obligated to come out, especially if their safety is at risk. People should also not come out if they are not ready. And “ideally, we work to create a world with no boxes or closets for us to break out of, because we are never expected to be anything other than who we say we are,” Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage counselor and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY. “Until that change happens, we must consciously choose who we want to invite to a celebration of our identity.”

    Shawn Mendes lets us in. And he shouldn’t feel pressured to tell us anything else.

    Vaseline
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