The New England Patriots cornered the white receiver market during the height of their dynasty. It was a brilliant move that clearly paid off in multiple championships. When the whole world zigs, the truly great teams zig.

So the Philadelphia Eagles decided to break some barriers of their own this season by not only having a white safety, but also a white cornerback. Half of the Eagles’ secondary consists of a pair of honkies. Just some good guys from Sioux Falls, South Dakota and Athens, Alabama. They are as white as the day is long. As white as a piece of unseasoned chicken. As white as a smoke detector with full batteries.

Clear eyes. Exciting white people. Can’t lose. This will somehow forever go down as the Exciting Whites match tonight. I just hope Luke McCaffrey is ready for a whole night of white-on-white crime. The young man is about to be tied up.

@JordieBarstool