16 minutes: Eguinaldo enters from the left and exchanges passes with Sikan before firing from the edge of the Arsenal pitch. His effort is deflected off the crossbar for a corner that comes to nothing, but a first shot follows over Arsenal’s bow. Shakhtar may be the underdogs, but they are not without teeth.

15 minutes: Both teams have a big domestic match coming up. We already know Arsenal’s upcoming set-to with Liverpool; the Ukrainian champion is away this weekend at leader Dynamo Kiev.

13 minutes: Mykhailo Mudryk, formerly of Shakhtar and now a Chelsea player, stands in the stands watching his old friends. Somewhere in the multiverse he is on the pitch in an Arsenal shirt. It almost happened before fate sent him to Stamford Bridge.

11 minutes: Jesus elegantly scans the inside channel on the right and a little bit of space opens up for him, but Kryskiv is sensible of the developing situation and comes across to close it down again. Jesus falls over.

10 minutes: That has calmed Shakhtar after a somewhat shaky start. The game calms down and now it is Arsenal’s turn to be patient.

8 minutes: Donetsk takes care of business while a patient passes in the back. Arsenal are being lulled into a false sense of security. White smells a simple backpass and lets Eguinaldo race through the left channel. As he drifts into the infield, Eguinaldo has the opportunity to shoot from the edge of the D, but he gets too many touches and the opportunity is quickly lost.

6 minutes: Trossard swings the ball in and Arsenal should be in the lead. The visitors cannot clear their lines and the ball falls to Calafiori, eight meters away. He has enough time to collect himself, but leans back and scoops the bar. What an opportunity. You would expect better from someone who scored such a gem at Manchester City last month.

5 minutes: Trossard plays a cute reverse pass down the right channel to release Havertz in the box. A corner is deserved. Trossard, replacing the absent Saka, throws him into the mixer. Kryskiv is forced to raise his eyebrows about his own bar. Trossard to try again.

4 minutes: A few accents for Saliba, who might as well have put up 110 percent tonight. He will not be available against Liverpool this weekend, with Arsenal today confirming they will not appeal his red card against Bournemouth. Enough time to put your old feet on the ground.

2 minutes: Rice swings the corner under the bar. Riznyk punches it away. Trossard recycles on the other flank with some nice skill, but his cross is too deep for his teammates in the six-yard box. Still a fast start from the hosts.

1 minute: Martinelli races down the left and wins the first corner of the match at 37 seconds. A determined flight. Rice wanders over to meet 5,000 Ukrainian fans.

Shakhtar gets the ball rolling. A nice atmosphere in the Emirates.

The teams are out. Arsenal in their red and white finery, Shakhtar in second choice black with a hint of orange. Once the UEFA marketing people have done their usual song about George Frideric Handel, we’re all good to go. “History is indeed in Arsenal’s favor if you look back long enough,” agrees Charles Antaki, “but if very recent history is anything to go by, unless Arteta has managed to choke off the supply of stupid pills making the rounds from the players, then we’ll see a parade of hilariously bad back passes, suicidal tackles and a rash of kicking the ball. Just say no.”

The two early matches are over. Milan defeated Club Brugge 3–1, while Monaco defeated 1991 champions Red Star Belgrade 5–1. It all makes the Big Table look like this as Arsenal, Shakhtar and everyone else head into the 8pm kick-off. (Please ignore the technical glitch at the bottom, which continues to compound Celtic’s group stage humiliation last season, as if a 7-1 defeat to Borussia Dortmund last month wasn’t bad enough. Rumors of our development team working with Penny Arcade sounds from the stereo at the office on the loop are way off target.)

Andriy Shevchenko, Dynamo Kiev and Milan legend and now president of the Ukrainian Football Association, speaks to Amazon Prime. “Shakhtar represents Ukraine here… we must thank the soldiers on the front line who allow us to play football… good luck to Shakhtar who deserves to play in this competition… we must develop football in Ukraine even in these conditions… I know the situation can change every day… but I defend my country and my country’s rights… basics… women’s football… we continue and fight… Champions League is the biggest competition… Georgiy Sudakov has very good skills… an important player… great potential to become even better… he can play different positions on the pitch… support Ukraine… the war is not over yet… do what you can… during this time you know who your friends are and we want to thank the British people. ”

Oleksandr Zinchenko is just a substitute for Arsenal tonight. Still, this obviously remains a big night for the Ukrainian, who did not break through with Shakhtar in his youth, but has since done so poorly for himself at Manchester City and Arsenal. He discusses his career and the difficulty of following the war from abroad with Donald McRae.

Mikel Arteta speaks to Amazon Prime. “No eye (on the upcoming match against Liverpool)… we had a great match against PSG and we are going to play another one… we are very excited about it… Saka couldn’t do a session the way we wanted… at the moment I not much hope (that he will be available for the match against Liverpool) … I give my players perspective … we haven’t lost a game in six months … now we have, let’s comment … we have options … in midfield and up front we have some good options… we have a lot of sympathy for Shakhtar… the difficult situation they are in… we welcome them in the best possible way… when it comes to the game we have to do our best doing.’

Shakhtar were forced to move from their hometown of Donetsk in 2014 due to the conflict between Ukraine and Russia, a fact referred to by coach Marino Pušić while speaking to Amazon Prime: “It’s hard… facing all these challenges makes you stronger… we don’t complain… we are fighters… we came here to play… so let’s play football… we had a short period to prepare… eight and a half hours on the bus, then we traveled here… every match is like an away match… we try to create a feeling of home in Lviv, but it is far from a feeling of home… we have to create for ourselves… it has to come from us… we want to show up and compete… it doesn’t matter if we play against Arsenal or Barcelona… we have quite a young squad… improve every day… that’s it I enjoy my work… our hotel was completely destroyed… it could have been us.”

Pušić is also asked about his time with new Liverpool boss Arne Slot at AZ Alkmaar. “We have had a lot of success… he is a great manager… I am very happy for him and I have no doubt about it… he is ready for anything… his tactical skills and individual approach are excellent.”

As mentioned in the introduction, this match has already been played twice before. This is what happened in 2010…

…and that’s how things went in those sepia-toned days when MBMs were in their infancy and as rare as a Martin Keown doppelgänger, so it’s a fair match report you get for this one.

Gabriel Martinelli and Gabriel Jesus return for Arsenal after their 2-0 defeat at Bournemouth. Mikel Merino and Raheem Sterling fall to the bench. Martin Ødegaard, Bukayo Saka and Jurriën Timber remain on the injured list. Should Kai Havertz score tonight, he will become the first player ever to score in eight consecutive games at the Emirates.

The teams

Preamble