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    • Anna Kendrick, trauma dumping and alleged abuse
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    Anna Kendrick, trauma dumping and alleged abuse

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    Anna Kendrick doesn’t shy away from discussing her alleged emotionally and psychologically abusive past relationship and how it affected her. She told The Independent in a recent interview that she had no choice but to experience a trauma dump in the aftermath.

    “It’s a literal true story that, in the aftermath of this really traumatic relationship, my plumber came over and asked how I was doing, and I just told him everything,” Kendrick told the outlet. “I just couldn’t breathe unfair air for another second.”

    Although expressing your trauma is a necessary part of the therapeutic process, it does not always go the way you would like. The audience is important, as is the setting, and sometimes that can cause problems.

    Kendrick’s memory is relatable to those who have experienced similar difficult life circumstances.

    “You might see someone at a party… and suddenly you’re talking about a terrible date you had and how it reminded you of when you were abused as a child,” says Carla Manly, a clinical psychologist and author of “ Joy from Fear,” he previously told USA TODAY. Manly says a problem arises when serious information is “shared without consent, in an inappropriate place and time, and with someone who may not have had the capacity to absorb that information.”

    Unlike venting, trauma dumping occurs in an “unsolicited, unprepared manner, where a person dumps traumatic thoughts, feelings, and energy on an unsuspecting person,” whether it is a close friend or a stranger.

    “We often have so much frustration, irritation and anger bottled up inside us, and we just need a place to release it,” Manly explains.

    In case you missed it: People make ‘salad’ out of sweets and their trauma. What’s going on?

    What is trauma dumping?

    Looking back on the troubled relationship, “it feels like something was stolen (from me),” Kendrick previously told USA TODAY. “Being caught in the cycle of trying to improve the relationship and figuring out a way to fix it meant I was also sacrificing more and more of myself.”

    Many people practice trauma dumping without realizing it. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist and author of “The Empath Survival Guide,” told USA TODAY that these victims of trauma use it as a coping mechanism.

    “It’s usually an unconscious fear that they express and just start dumping on someone else as a way to release the energy and frustration, and bringing it out can seemingly help a victim of some trauma,” she says .

    There is a fine line between venting and dumping. Experts say the latter is “toxic” and “harmful” because trauma dumping does not involve or respect the listener’s consent and often appears one-sided.

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    ‘We can be supportive, but we cannot inherit the trauma of others’

    Everyone should feel comfortable talking to friends or even strangers if it makes sense to express their frustrations, but some conversations are meant for a therapist.

    With the help of therapy, Kendrick was eventually able to acknowledge the abuse for what it was. Although she kept the details vague, there was a “major turning point” when she found “black and white evidence” that her partner was cheating on her. She also “spread all the gory details in conversations with various friends.”

    Others find it helpful to express feelings on TikTok in a light-hearted way.

    “Finding ways to cope with traumatic events is unique to each individual,” Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY. “Sharing your experiences and feeling seen can be incredibly healing during difficult times. There is nothing inherently wrong with finding laughter or levity when dealing with a painful event, as long as it doesn’t mean you feelings should be avoided.”

    Still, “not everyone has the bandwidth to absorb the traumas of others because their own lives are also full of stress,” Manly explains.

    According to Orloff, most people on the receiving end of trauma dumping will feel anxious, stressed, helpless, and even depressed after the conversation.

    “People may feel better after trauma dumping, but the person they dump it on feels terrible,” she says. “They usually start to feel exhausted and it’s just too much serious, unexpected information at once.”

    Experts say it’s okay to set boundaries with people who constantly dump trauma. It is important to emphasize that while you still care for them, you must also protect your own peace.

    Contributions: Jenna Ryu and Patrick Ryan

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