What are some of the greatest physical human feats you can think of? The quick ones that come to mind: climbing Mount Everest, eating 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes, walking on the moon and throwing 678.2 IP in a season for an ERA of 1.38 (Old Hoss Radbourn). Really pushing the boundaries of what the human body can do. Allow me to introduce you to porn star Lily Phillips. Brace yourself.

A really difficult draw if you are the last of the 101 to go. It doesn’t really get much better after a few guys have been there, but 101 is brutal. I’m not even sure if I should be more impressed or concerned here.

Worried. Yes, definitely concerned. The most concerned. Shit looks like a war zone. First of all: how? It really doesn’t seem possible that the human body can withstand such a toll. This coming from a man who has such an incredible lack of experience to give you an opinion on this, but from an outsider’s point of view it feels like this would break the human body. In many ways, Lily Phillips is the definition of built differently. While I may find the entire concept of this beyond outrageous and quite destructive to what society has become, I am also baffled by the way she physically fucked 101 guys in 14 hours.

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It’s right up there with the Wade Boggs 107 beer flight. But here’s the crazier, much more disturbing fact. Apparently the world record is 919 boys in 24 hours. A woman named Bonnie Blue has her sights set on that. Like bonds chasing McGwire.

I have a question. I probably shouldn’t even ask this, but we’re already working on the blog, so who cares. What is sex here? Is everyone ready? Is it just being inside? When 950 men are ready, I’ll call the National Guard.

And so I have enough internet for today. I chose to write this blog to take my mind off the World Series tonight, but it has caused irreparable damage instead. Damn.