John Ashdown – not our John Ashdown – had this to say: “I can only add a few other possible/bizarre/funny possibilities

• Edin Terzic

• Sergio Conceicao

• Xavi

• Sebastian Hoeness

• Michael

• Julian Nagelsmann

• Frank Lampard (lol)

• Jurgen Klopp (lololol)

• Jose Mourinho (lololol)

  “Some of these people, and some of those on your list, are unemployed and may be willing to take the job. But I do think Van Nistelrooy is the most likely choice.
  As hard as it is for Man Utd fans to realise, this is no longer the best job in football. Huge expectations, no Champions League football, a very expensive but poorly constructed squad. United may struggle to attract the kind of manager they need. Van Nistelrooy will probably have to steer the ship until the end of the season.”

Those 21 Ten Hag acquisitions and viewing figures

• Manuel Ugarte, PSG, 29.08.2024 €50.00 million – N/A – strangely decreased

• Matthijs de Ligt, Bayern Munich, 12.08.2024, €45.00 million – bankrupt, needs to do better

• Noussair Mazraoui, Bayern Munich, 12.08.2024,€15.00 million – no improvement

• Leny Yoro, Lille, 17.07.2024 €62.00 million – injured – n/a

• Joshua Zirkzee, Bologna, 13.07.2024. €42.50 million – good start, bad since

• Sergio Reguilon, Tottenham, 31.08.2023, loan – bankrupt, forgotten

• Sofyan Amrabat, Fiorentina, 31.08.2023, loan – bad start, got better, not good enough

• Altay Bayindir, Fenerbahçe, 31.08.2023, €5.00 million – hardly seen

• Rasmus Højlund, Atalanta, 04.08.2023, €73.90 million – fitness issues, talent is all too rarely seen

• André Onana, Inter 19.07.2023, €50.20 million – could be bad, could be spectacular

• Jonny Evans, Leicester, 17.07.2023, free transfer – don’t let anyone down

• Mason Mount, Chelsea, 04.07.2023, €64.20 million – who?

• Marcel Sabitzer, Bayern Munich, 30.01.2023. loan – was okay, why not continue?

• Wout Weghorst, Burnley, 12.01.2023, loan – cult hero, not very good

• Jack Butland, Crystal Palace, 05.01.2023, loan – n/a

• Martin Dúbravka, Newcastle, 31.08.2022. loan – n/a

• Antonius, Ajax, 31.08.2022. €95.00 million – bust of all busts

• Casemiro, Real Madrid, 21.08.2022, €70.65 million – great first season, bad since

• Lisandro Martínez, Ajax, 26.07.2022, €57.37 million – good player, poor fitness

• Christian Eriksen, Brentford, 14.07.2022, free transfer – good player, too old

• Tyrell Malacia, Feyenoord, 04.07.2022, €15.00 million – a forgotten man

Bruno Fernandes, the team’s captain, took to Instagram to say goodbye.

“Thanks for everything boss! I appreciate the trust and the moments we share together, I wish you all the best in the future. Even though we know the last period hasn’t been great for all of us, I hope you fans can keep in mind the good things the manager has done for our club!”

Odds on the following manager, via Oddschecker:

• Ruud van Nistelrooy 7/2

• Reuben Amorim 7/2

• Gareth Southgate 8/1

• Thomas Frank 8/1

• Kieran McKenna 14/1

• Michael Carrick14/1

• Graham Potter 16/1

• Max Allegri 20/1

• Zinedine Zidane 25/1

• Simone Inzaghi 25/1

The Gary Neville vantage point is here, via Sky Sports:

The big shock to me is how bad they have been with the new signings. I felt that they would have enough to be able to achieve a decent level of performance together after a smoother transfer window, and that Erik ten Hag would gain a level of stability.

The fact that they are fourteenth is unacceptable. You can’t be in 14th place after nine or 10 games with the level of spending achieved without being under a lot of pressure – and that’s what happened. I hoped it would end differently. I think Manchester United fans were hoping that the manager would keep his job and that the faith he had shown in him this summer would pay off. But that hasn’t been the case.

Some Ten Hag data via PA Media:

• With 70 wins from 128 games in charge, Ten Hag’s winning record of 54.7 percent is actually the second best of any United manager since Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement – behind only Jose Mourinho’s 58.3 percent.

• However, the Dutchman lost 27.3 percent of his games, ahead of only David Moyes (29.4 percent) and a spell as interim boss for Ralf Rangnick (27.6), as his side struggled to turn defeats into draws – only 23 matches, or 18. percent, ended completely square.

• Ten Hag’s side conceded 165 goals in his time in charge, with an average of 1.29 per game even higher than the figure in a lost half-season under Rangnick (37 in 29 games, 1.28 per competition).

• Mourinho (0.84) and Louis van Gaal (0.95) conceded an average of under one per game, with Moyes at 1.06 and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer at 1.09. Overall, United had conceded almost exactly one goal per game between Ferguson’s retirement and Ten Hag’s appointment, 499 in 502 games.

• Seven times they conceded four or more in a match under Ten Hag, losing 6-3 and 7-0 to bitter rivals Manchester City and Liverpool respectively in his first season, while in his second season they more often than not conceded three or more conceded goals. 15) than that they kept clean sheets (13).

• Ten Hag is only the second manager after Ferguson with multiple trophies to his name, adding last season’s FA Cup to the 2022/23 Carabao Cup.

Karen Asad contacts: “Last season’s FA Cup victory, as fond as the memory was, masked the ETH team’s obvious shortcomings. This season he had the players and no difference; because serious teams don’t hide behind these kinds of excuses.

“Many questionable transfer decisions will cost United in the near future. I think ETH was not ambitious enough. He invested more than anyone else, but behaved as if he had the task of delivering cup victory to a mid-sized club. We assumed he would play in the same league as Pep & Klopp, but that really wasn’t the case.”

Here is Ruud himself:

Nicholas Ridgman gets in touch: “Of all the managerial faragos after Fergie, this is the most difficult to understand.

“To finish third in his first season, 14 points off the top, with a trophy was quite an impressive achievement. This was largely with a team he inherited. The more of his favorite players came in, the more incomprehensible the tactic became.

“What is also strange is that the general solidarity of the team seems fine. None of the bad body language/locker room leaks we saw in other managers’ endgames. How did he seemingly manage to maintain this unity while completely destroying the team’s fortunes?

Rio Ferdinand, a financier of Ole Gunnar Solskjær, as you may recall, already has his man.

Okay, here’s the first runner and rider to shake off the list.

I’m not sure he would be a popular candidate.

All eyes on Sir Jim Ratcliffe. The big decision has been made, now an even bigger decision.

But was it Big Sir Jim’s call?

If Ten Hag had been fired despite this famous victory? In hindsight it turns out that this absolutely should have happened.

At Wembley that day:

When asked whether he thinks he has been treated unfairly by the media, Ten Hag told Gary Lineker: “I think so too, the team. It wasn’t right.”

Alan Shearer intervened to say United have rarely been as good as they are now and often deserved the criticism that came their way. “You’re right, but we didn’t have the players,” was the answer. “It wasn’t always good football, certainly not, but if you don’t have the players you can’t play the football you want to play.”

Was it his last game in charge of United? “I don’t know,” he said. “All I do is train my team, prepare my team and develop my team, because for me this is a project. When I came in, I can say it was a mess and we’re doing better now, but we’re nowhere near where we want to be.

The United Brain Trust kept him working and spent even more money. A fateful decision.

Complained in vain after that defeat at West Ham. It was probably not a penalty, but then Ten Hag was not really a Manchester United manager.

It seems like a while since the “bald is best” campaign.

Will Unwin has the story so far.

Here is the official club statement: short and sweet. More briefly.

Erik ten Hag has resigned from his role as manager of Manchester United’s first men’s team.

Erik was appointed in April 2022 and led the club to two domestic trophies, including winning the Carabao Cup in 2023 and the FA Cup in 2024.

We are grateful to Erik for everything he has done during his time with us and wish him the best for the future.

Ruud van Nistelrooy will take charge of the team as interim head coach, supported by the current coaching team, while a permanent head coach is recruited.

Preamble