As the seconds ticked down on Monday night’s victory over the Chargers, Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh wanted to remind his defense to tune out the noise and distractions and not jump offsides.

He repeatedly tapped the sides of his head with his cupped hands, as if putting on imaginary earmuffs.

Funny, in the week leading up to the hyped Harbaugh Bowl – the third edition of the only brother-to-brother matchup of head coaches in the NFL – the Ravens coach had to take his own advice. He had to ignore all the outside talk and concentrate on the task at hand.

“Yes, absolutely, they were like earmuffs in that sense, and I know it was for Jim too,” said John Harbaugh, who improved to 3-0 in games against his younger brother. “Because it ultimately has meaning, it matters. It’s such an incredible thing. I’m so proud of him. It’s amazing to look back at where we are now, where we’ve come from.

“We had different paths and we grew up in the same room. We have always lived our lives side by side. But that’s not what the game is about. The game is about the players.”

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Despite the obvious love and respect the two have for each other, there was no brother-to-brother pullback, no apparent sympathy between siblings in Baltimore’s 30-23 win. Both John and Jim – whose teams could easily meet in the playoffs in a few months – were completely invested in the moment.

That’s why the Ravens went for it three times on fourth down, succeeding all three, including once from 16. Neither coach took his foot off the accelerator.

“The most important thing was who we played,” said John, 62, 15 months older than Jim. ‘You just have to try to hold on to your assets as long as possible because they are so good. … Their offense is so challenging and so good, we just felt like we were going to need it.”

As the game clock struck 0:00, photographers, cameramen and other media streamed from the four corners of the field to the lightning bolt at midfield to capture the brotherly handshake. That was short-lived, with John and Jim exchanging a few kind words and a quick hug before going their separate ways.

If you didn’t know what happened in the game and the final outcome, it would be difficult to tell from the post-game media sessions which brother won and which lost. They were both demure and chose their words carefully.

“It’s every week at this level that everyone puts an incredible amount of effort and everything into these games,” Jim said. “I was very happy with our effort, courageous effort, and their side of the ball had courageous effort as well.”

Just as John has won all three coaching games against his brother – including a Super Bowl victory – quarterback Peyton Manning was 3-0 against his younger brother, Eli. And just as those crazy matchups were excruciating for parents Archie and Olivia Manning, they’re tortuous for Jack and Jackie Harbaugh.

Harbaugh’s parents attended the first two games with their sons, but on Monday — which happened to be their 63rd birthday — they were in Florida watching from the home of their daughter Joanie, who is married to longtime basketball coach Tom Crean.

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Both brothers contacted their parents before the match.

“I wished them a happy anniversary, and I know Jim did the same,” John said. “Jim and I texted a little bit before the game. So grateful for our parents. When you’re blessed enough to have parents who get along so well, love each other and have been married for 63 years, you get some idea of ​​how it’s supposed to work. That is the gift that all three of them have given to us.

“I know they are 100% happy and 100% disappointed at the same time. If you can imagine that, that’s how they feel right now.”

The Ravens improved to 8-4 with the win, giving them a better record than the 7-4 Chargers and a significant lead over them in the postseason race. There was no gloating on John’s part. He opened his news conference by calling his younger brother “the best coach in the National Football League, with how hard they played and what they did.”

He added: “They are going to win a lot more football games this year and they will be a major factor in the play-offs.”

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When they were kids, sharing a bedroom and occasionally exchanging blows, the ultra-competitive brothers struck a deal. They divided their room in two.

“John came up with this thing where he put a piece of athletic tape across the floor of the room we shared,” Jim, then coach of the San Francisco 49ers, told the Los Angeles Times in 2011. He wasn’t allowed on his side of the tape, and he wasn’t allowed on my side.

Jim went along with the plan, but later realized that most of the important items – a record player, radio, desk and alarm clock – were on his brother’s side of the room. Jim had the closet where they kept their clothes and the bedroom door on his side, but John could use it if necessary.

“So the deal was the deal,” Jim said. “But there are those ten or twelve defining moments in your life, and that was one of them. I learned a valuable lesson the hard way: you negotiate a good deal in advance.”

As for the story of the tape now? It’s more loving, but still lopsided.

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This story originally appeared in the Los Angeles Times.