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    • In the premiere of ‘Golden Bachelorette,’ Joan welcomes her suitors: who will stay?
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    In the premiere of ‘Golden Bachelorette,’ Joan welcomes her suitors: who will stay?

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    A hopeful dawn has dawned for the “Golden” franchise, which is now part of the Bachelor Nation Circle of Life.

    First there was Gerry Turner’s senior edition, “The Golden Bachelor,” which glowed with true-love optimism last year before his TV marriage to Theresa Nist ended in divorce after 100 days. Now Joan Vassos, 61, the gorgeous grandmother of three, has stepped up for the equally historic “The Golden Bachelorette,” with 24 suitors and the renewed promise of true-love TV love.

    Joan is bathed in golden light in the opening shots of Wednesday’s ABC premiere in a shimmering champagne gown. She’s beautiful in new beginnings. Joan doesn’t want to talk about “redemption season” or the pressures of last season’s final trials. The widow, who lost her husband of 32 years to cancer in 2021, just wants to be loved again.

    “Let this journey begin,” says Joan in her SUV on the way to the opening night Bachelor Mansion greet-a-thon. “Bring on the men!”

    These are the people who really stood out when they stepped out of the limos at the Bachelor Mansion:

    “Golden Bachelorette” spoilers ahead! So stop reading now if you haven’t seen Joan’s latest journey, streaming now on Hulu.

    Joan’s first encounters are with an officer and a gentleman

    The first two men to emerge from the limousines are, in that order, a sophisticated Chicago salon owner born in Paris named Pascal, 69, and a fully uniformed retired Navy captain from Seattle named Kim, 69. Powerful opening.

    Pascal is so smooth that there’s even a half-joking suggestion among the other Golden Bachelor guys that he’s faking his French accent to cover up a regular Chicago one. (It would be both outrageous and awesome if there actually was a “Golden” fake-French accent hoax.) Of course, Pascal debunks this absurdity with the perfect laugh before storming off to Joan for the first time one-on-one, proving his City of Love credentials with, “Let me take you.”

    The rest of the boys simply bow to this audacity. A little later, champagne-drinking Pascal starts talking about taking Joan to France. Très bien. Of course, Pascal gets a rose, and so does Kim.

    True Southside Chicagoan Jack does things his way

    Jack, 68, a Chicago caterer, proves himself the most interesting man alive this season, beard and all. He wears a flashy pink jacket and croons “My Way” when he meets Joan. Every line Jack says in his South Chicago accent becomes an instant classic, starting with his entrance announcement: “Did someone say bourbon?” Yet no one accuses him of being a Frenchman faking a South Chicago accent.

    Jack turns on the serious awe as he prepares a gourmet meal of tenderloin for Joan and the rest of the crew. Joan gives Jack the final rose of the evening in a manufactured thrill. Even the boys want Jack to stay.

    Gary might just be the best for ‘The Golden Bachelorette’

    Gary, 65, shows no signs of nerves as he walks up to Joan, starts giving her a jaunty dance move and says, “I’m that guy, Joan.” Whether “that guy” means an instant TV star or Joan’s partner, or both, remains to be seen. But it’s an electric start before Gary shows real emotion, crying over video greetings from his family that are played for the group. Gary gets his rose before he even reveals that he’s the godson of the legendary Tina Turner. He just might be the best.

    Mark Anderson Doesn’t Need That Much Help From ‘Golden Bachelor’

    Dear “Golden Bachelorette” producers: Mark Anderson doesn’t need your help. The “Hot Dad” internet star gets the privilege of the coveted final limo arrival for Joan, a scene that’s already been making the rounds on social media. And Mark’s famous daughter, “Bachelor” star Kelsey Anderson, steps up to personally introduce Joan.

    Mark, 57, would be a frontrunner if it weren’t for the support of the Bachelor Nation Deep State. He’s genuine, he’s tough, he’s a star, he’s utterly bewildered by this “thirst trap” term being thrown at him.

    “He’s cute,” Joan whispers to the ever-lurking Kelsey after Daddy leaves. “Just call me Mommy.” Too soon, Joan! Everyone needs to stop staring at “Hot Dad” and look around. We’ve still got weeks to go.

    Mark receives a rose and confesses on camera that being with Joan is like “putting on a warm sweatsuit that just came out of the dryer.” Hmm, let’s look at that, Mark.

    Jonathan and Dan are both intriguing mysteries

    Jonathan, 64, from Oakland, Iowa meets Joan wearing a gold sleep mask. Great touch, especially with his male model looks. Later, Jonathan recites a memorized poem to Joan. Killing stuff. He receives an early Joan rose.

    With his messy, still-blond hair and quirky, Columbo-esque attitude, private investigator Dan, 64, is a paper cup of coffee away from his own CBS primetime series. He’s fun to watch and genuine, even with his near-disastrous misplay, in which he smokes a pickleball past Joan’s face. She ducks. Dan still gets his rose.

    ‘Girl Dad’ Keith is packed and ready to take Joan away in his station wagon

    Self-described “Girl Dad” of three, Keith, 62, made an immediate impression when he pulled up in a “nice ride” — a beat-up station wagon, suitcases strapped to the stopper. Then the 6-foot-5 teddy bear scores again, playing cornhole with Joan, a game she loves. “I can just picture him hanging out with my friends,” she says.

    Joan gives Keith the precious First Impression rose and the first (chaste) kiss on the lips. “I’m stoked,” he says later.

    Six Men Were Left Without Roses! Who Left ‘Golden Bachelorette’?

    Joan didn’t enjoy handing out the roses. She even stops after 10 and abruptly runs out of the room. Host Jesse Palmer was probably scrolling TikTok in the control room and thought, “What?? GB is moving.” He appears and reassures Joan back in the room. No tears, but she says a stoic goodbye:

    • Bill, 68, a retired videographer from Portland, Oregon.
    • Pablo, 63, a retired director of a UN agency from Cambridge, Maryland.
    • Ken, 60, property management treasurer from Peabody, Massachusetts.
    • RJ, 66, a financial advisor from Irvine, California.
    • David, 68, a cattle rancher from Austin, Texas.
    • Thomas, 62, a New York City fire chief.

    How Did ‘Golden Bachelor’ Gerry Turner Get Into Previews?

    Whoa, that preview of the upcoming season was a lot. A “Full Monty” striptease, a private jet, lots of kissing. Um, Joan saying “I love you, Mark” and kissing “Hot Dad.” But the clincher is “Golden Bachelor” Gerry Turner stepping out of a limo—tanned, rested, and somehow ready to dish out some love advice.

    “Have you considered that your husband isn’t here?” Turner asks Joan in the preview. This is going to be a wild ride.

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