14th over: Pakistan 37-2 (Saim 17, Ghulam 10) Saim flashes Leach wristily through the covers for three, then Ghulam bashed his down the ground for six! That’s a brilliant and brave shot; he’d have received all sorts of abuse had he run past the ball and been stumped.

One consequence of this pitch is that England are in serious danger of keeping up with the over rate; we’re still inside the first hour and Shoaib Bashir is about to bowl the 15th.

“Speaking as an under-the-duvet pre-dawn punter,” flutters James Walsh, “I’m enjoying this a lot more than the start of the first Test. And I don’t think there’s masses of turn…”

No you’re right; it’s hardly a bunsen. I’m probably guilty of putting two and two together to make a two-day Test.

13th over: Pakistan 27-2 (Saim 14, Ghulam 3) Saim tries to sweep Bashir and is beaten by a mile. That ball turned grotesquely. The only good thing for the batters is that, one delivery from Leach aside, the turn has been fairly slow and low.

12th over: Pakistan 23-2 (Saim 11, Ghulam 2) Forty-nine minutes into the Test match, a delivery from Leach bursts nastily at Saim, who gloves it wide of the diving short leg for a single. This is entertaining cricket but I’m not sure it passes the smell test. I guess we should reserve judgement for now.

In other news I forgot the Test Match Special overseas link, again, sorry. Here it is.

11th over: Pakistan 22-2 (Saim 10, Ghulam 2) I’m not 100 per cent sure but I think this is the first time since Melbourne 1901-02 that England have had two spinners bowling inside the first half hour of a Test match.

In the first Test there was a lot of talk of Bashir’s defensive line to the right-handers. His first ball to Ghulam is more attacking, outside off, and Ghulam pushes it for a single. Saim drives another down the ground.

10th over: Pakistan 20-2 (Saim 8, Ghulam 1) Welcome to Test cricket, Kamran Ghulam. He’s a 29-year-old right-hander with an excellent record in first-class cricket, and he gets off the mark with a slightly nervous thick edge.

WICKET! Pakistan 19-2 (Shan c Crawley b Leach 3)

9th over: Pakistan 17-1 (Saim 8, Shan 2) The arrival of Shan Masood means Bashir has two left-handers to play with. Saim is focussing entirely on defence against Bashir for now and there’s just a single to Shan in that over.

“With Leach getting that amount of movement after 30 mins, this match will be done in two days,” says Gareth Wilson. “England likely to be all out 220 off 40 overs.”

Surely they won’t try to dig in on this pitch?

8th over: Pakistan 16-1 (Saim 8, Shan 1) England appeal unsuccessfully for LBW when the captain Shan Masood tries to sweep his first ball and misses. He was outside the line. England have four catchers on the leg side for Shan: leg slip, short leg, short midwicket and short mid-on.

“What’s the story with the music between overs at Multan this morning?” asks Julian. “I’m sure I’ve already heard AC/DC and Aerosmith, which all seems a somewhat incongruous in a practically empty stadium. Are the new selectors responsible for this as well?”

Haha. Each selector gets to pick one player and two bangers for the playlist.

WICKET! Pakistan 15-1 (Shafique b Leach 7)

7th over: Pakistan 15-0 (Shafique 7, Saim 8) Shoaib Bashir is coming as well. I wonder when England last used two spinners inside the first half hour of a Test match; not sure it has ever happened.

On Sky, Mike Atherton makes the point that Stokes is probably keeping his seamers fresh for when/if the ball reverse swings. The expectation is that it will reverse in this game because the square is much drier.

It will certainly turn, and Bashir serves notice of that by getting one to grip and beat Saim. Nicely bowled.

6th over: Pakistan 15-0 (Shafique 7, Saim 8) Jack Leach comes into the attack inside the first half hour of the game. He has a slip, short leg and short mid-on for Saim, who tries to drive the first ball and is beaten. Not a great shot. After he takes a single, Shafique clips a leg-stump full toss through midwicket for his first boundary.

Leach has a similar field for the right-handed Shafique, but with short mid-on moved to short mid-off. No sign of extravagant turn in his first over.

5th over: Pakistan 10-0 (Shafique 3, Saim 7) Potts must be a pain in the arse to face. He’s always making the batsmen play, usually from a length that brings both the edge and the front pad into play. Nag nag nag nag nag.

His third over is a maiden to Shafique, and I’m pretty sure all 18 deliveries so far have hit the bat. Jack Leach is already warming up.

“Pakistan cricket is the nation’s perfect metaphor for overnight chaos managed by a carousel of committees,” says Zain Malik. “They’ve turned up for this game like philosophers with a sledgehammer, smashing the idols of their biggest stars and conjuring a regiment of spinners on a pitch that’s been through some sort of voodoo ritual. But don’t write Pakistan off just yet. It’s out of these absurd shake-ups that their most outlandish victories often emerge.”

Quite. But can we still call them cornered tigers if they beat England with spin rather than stumpbusting pace and reverse swing?

4th over: Pakistan 10-0 (Shafique 3, Saim 7) Shafique ducks under a bouncer, the first leave of the morning session from the 23rd delivery. That tells you how straight England are bowling in an attempt to maximise the uneven bounce. How weird it is to be talking about uneven bounce in the fourth over of a Test match.

Carse puts his hands on his head when Shafique, who has started quite tentatively, inside-edges past leg stump for a single.

3rd over: Pakistan 9-0 (Shafique 2, Saim 7) Saim forces Potts crisply past point for four, making this the highest opening partnership he and Shafique have managed in nine attempts.

Potts continues to make the batters play at pretty much every delivery. The last ball of the over keeps very low; thankfully for Pakistan it wasn’t gunbarrel straight and Saim edges it well short of Smith.

“You don’t often see a sixth-day field,” says Gary Naylor, “but we have one now.”

I’d love to see some of the fields in this game. Day nine, and Alan Melville has tried literally every field known to mankind, yet Bill Edrich is still batting.

2nd over: Pakistan 5-0 (Shafique 2, Saim 3) Brydon Carse’s optimum role is as first-change enforcer, but the balance of England’s side means he’ll take the new ball in this game. Shafique is beaten by a heavy ball outside off stump and then works a single off the hip.

Saim Ayub, who played a hideous shot off Carse in the second innings last week, pulls confidently for three to get off the mark. And then there’s the first sign of uneven bounce: a shortish delivery that keeps low and is inside-edged onto the pad by Shafique.

1st over: Pakistan 1-0 (Shafique 1, Saim 0) With Woakes and Atkinson rested, Matthew Potts takes the first over for the first time in his Test career. He starts with two slips and a leg slip for Shafique, although Ben Stokes takes out the second slip after three balls.

Potts starts well, making the batters play at all six deliveries. That’s one of his great strengths: tight line, good-to-full length, always at the batter.

Here come the Pakistan openers, Saim Ayub and Abdullah Shafique. The first target is to reach 10. Their eight opening partnership in Tests have all ended in single figures, with a miserable average of 2.87. Yep.

“Pakistan, it seems, have taken the phrase ‘lucky number seven’ quite literally, winning the toss and tossing in not one, but s-e-v-e-n spinners,” writes Zain Malik. “Desperation? Maybe. Innovation? Definitely. The pitch? Rumored to turn faster than a drift car on a tight corner. But let’s hope we don’t get a repeat of the Pindi fiasco, where Shan and the boys brought four pacers expecting Headingley, only to find themselves bowling on something closer to a runway at Jinnah International.”

Does this constitute pitch doctoring?

“The last Test was quite the thing, huh?” says Felix Wood. “Pakistan have thrown aside all the best practice guides of how Test cricket should be done ahead of this match… is this their tribute to Bazball?”

Ha, I hadn’t thought of it like that. The trouble is we can’t give it a name as nobody knows which of the 427-man selection committee has driven this change.

Rameez Raja, talking on Sky Sports, doesn’t think much of Pakistan’s volte farce

They’re trying to change the DNA of Pakistan cricket… it’s a cocktail of confusion… this is a leap of faith… they’re trying to win at any cost… it’s a rudderless ship, I don’t know who’s in charge… there’s no consistency… this is a desperate move… I just hope for Pakistan’s sake that somehow it works.

Pakistan win the toss and bat

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