Michael Brochstein/Zuma

The news That New York Mayor Eric Adams has been indicted came as no surprise. For one thing, federal authorities first began searching the homes of people connected to his campaign in November 2023, amid many, many, many reports of the mayor’s suspiciously frequent luxury trips to Turkey, not to mention rumors of donations from foreigners.

Second, the mayor is just a really strange guy, and it really seemed like anything was possible with him. But now that Adams has officially been federally charged with bribery, wire fraud, conspiracy, and soliciting campaign contributions from out-of-states, one thing does come as a shock: how deep, grim, sadly funny some of this stuff is.

The indictment alleges that Adams accepted “improper benefits of value” from wealthy Turkish nationals and officials with ties to the Turkish government for at least a decade, dating back to his time as mayor of Brooklyn. Those benefits included luxury hotel stays, upgraded airfare, free meals at expensive restaurants, and “lavish entertainment” during his frequent trips to Turkey. It also alleges that he and his mayoral campaign brazenly and gleefully accepted what a reasonable person would perceive as bribes from Turkish nationals, accepted large sums of illegal contributions through front men, and provided favorable treatment in return, including pressuring the fire department to approve a luxury skyscraper housing the Turkish consulate, ending his partnership with a Turkish community center in Brooklyn that Turkey claimed was hostile to the government, and refusing to make a statement on the anniversary of the Armenian Genocide simply because a “Turkish official” asked him not to.

That may all be less funny; perhaps, when you consider the breadth and length of the alleged corruption, not funny at all. But if you can look past the serious allegations, Mayor Adams and his campaign staff are accused of behaving in such a breathtakingly foolish, truly profoundly unwise manner that the whole thing transcends ordinary crime and reaches a level of comedy.

For example: Their dedication to writing everything down, far more than any competent attorney would advise. After Adams began traveling to Turkey in 2015 and got an extremely good deal on Turkish Airlines, prosecutors say he instructed his partner to purchase tickets only on Turkish Air. Adams, the complaint alleges, “flew Turkish Airline even when it was otherwise inconvenient to do so. For example, during the July and August 2017 trip, Adams’ “partner was surprised to learn that ADAMS was in Turkey, when she had understood he was flying from New York to France. ADAMS responded in a text message, ‘Transiting here. You know the first stop is always Istanbul (sic).’” Furthermore, it adds, when Adams’ partner wanted to plan a trip to Easter Island, Adams “repeatedly asked her if Turkish Airline could be used for their flights, forcing her to call Turkish Airline to confirm that they did not have routes between New York and Chile.”

A text message that reads “first stop is always Istanbul” will surely enter the dictionary of phrases indicative of outright political corruption. But the incredible dedication to documenting everything goes much further. Adams and his associates, the indictment alleges, even typed conversations about deleting evidence. “To be on the safe side, delete all messages you send me,” one associate texted Adams, who reportedly responded with a gleeful look, “Always do that.”

While trying to erase their paper trail, Adams and his associates allegedly created a much dumber one. In 2017, for example, Adams emailed his scheduler asking to pay for some free flights he had already taken on Turkish Air. But, the indictment reads, “the emails contained inconsistent explanations: in some, ADAMS suggested that the Adams Scheduler pay with ADAMS’s credit card, while in others, ADAMS claimed to have left cash in an envelope for the Adams Scheduler to send to Turkish Airlines.” The indictment also dryly notes that, given the value of the tickets, Adams would have stashed at least $10,000 in cash in a desk drawer to send to Turkish Airlines for flights he had taken months earlier. “He did not do so,” the indictment helpfully adds, “as Turkish Airlines records confirm that ADAMS did not pay the airline, cash or otherwise, because the tickets were free.”

Another grimly hilarious aspect of the indictment is Adams’ surprising willingness to immediately accept piles of money, even cash — a fact that, again, was put in writing, in perfect clarity. In June 2018, an Adams associate and a Turkish businessman — referred to in the document as “the Promoter” — discussed Adams taking another trip. According to the indictment, the Promoter wrote, “Fundraising in Turkey is not legal, but I think I can raise money for your campaign off the record.” The Adams associate allegedly responded, “How will (Adams) declare that money here?” The Promoter replied, “He won’t declare it… Or… We’ll make the donation through an American citizen in the U.S.… A Turk… I’ll give him cash in Turkey… Or I’ll send it to an American… He’ll make a donation to you.”

Any reasonable person could identify this as, shall we say, a problem. And indeed, the Adams employee seemed to recognize the red flags, replying, “I don’t think he would get involved in such games. They could cause a big stink later,” but adding, “I’m asking anyway.” The promoter said he could contribute “Max $100,000,” to which the employee replied, “100,000? Any chance you can wire that over here? … We can’t do it while Eric’s in Turkey,” to which the promoter replied, “Let’s think about it.”

“After this conversation,” the complaint states, “the Adams Staffer asked ADAMS whether the Adams Staffer should prosecute the Promoter’s illegal foreign contributions, and contrary to the Adams Staffer’s expectations, ADAMS instructed that the Adams Staffer prosecute the Promoter’s illegal scheme.” Later, when briefing his staff about another Turkish businessman who offered to make illegal contributions, Adams wrote that the businessman “is willing to help. I do not want his willingness to help to go to waste (sic).”

The indictment goes on, and on, and on, like this. At one point, when Turkish university officials promised $20,000 in “donations” to Adams’ 2021 mayoral campaign in exchange for his attendance at an event, an Adams aide responded, “if the donation is not more than $25,000, then Mr. President will not personally participate.” In another instance, Adams allegedly placed the CEO of Turkish Airlines on his transition team after telling an Adams aide, “I would be a good fit to be a leader or senior advisor.” Two days later, he repeated this, writing, “Please lead 🙂 Otherwise, seat 52 is empty… On our way back.” As the indictment helpfully explains, this meant “if the airline manager was not given a position on a transition committee, ADAMS’ travel benefits from Turkish Airlines would be affected.”

The bitingly funny affair continued until the FBI closed in on Adams on November 6, 2023. That’s when the FBI executed a search warrant on Adams’ home and seized some of his electronics, including an iPad and a cellphone.

“Although ADAMS had multiple electronic devices, including two cell phones, he did not have his own cell phone,” the complaint adds, “which is the device he used to communicate about the conduct described in this complaint. When Adams produced the phone the next day, in response to a subpoena, it was locked and password protected.”

“ADAMS alleged that after learning of the investigation into his conduct, he changed the password… and increased the complexity of his password from four to six digits,” the complaint continues, deadpan. “ADAMS did this, he alleged, to prevent members of his staff from inadvertently or intentionally erasing the contents of his phone, because, according to ADAMS, he wanted to preserve the contents of his phone for the purposes of the investigation. However, ADAMS further alleged, he had forgotten the password he had just set and was therefore unable to provide the FBI with a password that would unlock the phone.”

On Thursday afternoon, Adams was still defiant, having released a statement he recorded before the charges were even made public, in which he vowed to fight the charges “with all my strength and mind.” As long as he keeps that promise, the incredible, almost surreal levels of morbid comedy are likely to continue.