Photo-Illustration: Intelligence; Photos: Getty Images

When Donald Trump filled his first Cabinet in 2016, his process was broad and precise compared to a casting call for The student. Previously, staffing the new government had been a careful and secretive undertaking, largely ignored by the general public. But Trump tackled the task like the showman he is. For months he encountered a cavalcade of obsequious Republican politicians, opportunistic billionaires and assorted sycophants. He made sure to parade every candidate in front of the media and even teased on Twitter, “I’m the only one who knows who the finalists are!”

Trump is once again falling back on his reality TV roots in his approach to filling his second-term Cabinet. But this time he doesn’t just add some showbiz flair to the proceedings. In 2016, Trump horrified Democrats and many Republicans by publicly toying with collaborators like Laura Ingraham, Sarah Palin, Kanye West and Rudy Giuliani — but he didn’t really go for his craziest options. Now the president-elect is much less concerned about what Reince Priebus or Mitch McConnell types think; New Majority Leader John Thune is open to bypassing the Senate confirmation process. So Trump goes by his feelings. And with picks like Kristi Noem, Pete Hegseth, and Elon Musk, it seems Trump’s instinct is to put together a team better suited for a full-blown MAGA project. Dancing with the stars than a serious White House cabinet.

The celebrity student may seem like the most obvious blueprint here. But most of the contestants on that show were quite skilled and the stakes were quite low because they were playing for charity. The DWTS cast tends to be more washed up, random and completely unqualified for the job at hand. These characteristics, combined with the high potential for disaster and humiliation, provide a much better analogy for the developing Trump Administration 2.0.

So far, Trump has announced only a handful of picks for his new Cabinet and other top government positions. But they have been mapping archetypes for good DWTS form.

All Trump needs is a former athlete, someone from… The bachelorand the third cast member from an old teen TV drama, and this would be an absolute unbelievable DWTS season 34. It’s easy to imagine a world where Kristi Noem’s cha-cha to “Who Let the Dogs Out” dominates the national conversation, while President Harris quietly goes about the incredibly boring business of actually governing. But of course we don’t live in that reality.

None of this is a dig Dancing with the starswhich is entertaining and harmless. We love seeing celebrities get a second chance at success, or embarrass themselves on the national stage. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that Trump Cabinet 2.0 will end in anything but a disaster. And their stumbles won’t even be that fun to watch. Sure, they’ll be embarrassing for Trump and his minions, but Americans will feel the consequences, and the humiliation will be shared by everyone who put him back in the producer’s chair.