TThe 2024 World Series was an exciting battle between the two best teams in baseball, the Dodgers and the Yankees. It’s also a welcome excuse for the cities of New York and Los Angeles to talk about themselves, a special little treat that neither municipality is taking for granted.

There’s nothing New Yorkers and Angelenos love more than a little civic pride. “You have to try our bagels,” you might hear as you walk through the trash-laden streets of Manhattan. “Strip mall sushi” is something that those of us blessed to live in Los Angeles are legally required to say to anyone who asks for any kind of recommendation. For those who haven’t experienced this yet at the Delta terminal at LAX, this means that the best sushi restaurants are in strip centers. What we don’t tell you is that in LA everything is in a strip mall.

New York vs. Los Angeles is a rivalry that confuses most of the rest of the world and makes San Francisco say, “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” The two most powerful cultural centers in the United States are constantly locked in a deadly battle for power, influence and which city gets to host the MTV Video Music Awards. Sports give us a clean, bloodless way to decide which city is better, while also drinking a lot of beer, which is as American as it gets. The Yankees, like the city itself, represent tradition, broad-shouldered swagger and a touch of corruption for the sake of flavor. The Dodgers, like countless great Angelenos, lived in New York.

This is why, as the World Series shifts to Yankee Stadium, I can say without a doubt that this series will decide once and for all which metropolis is superior. No other method of settling this endless quarrel will suffice. Publications like New York Magazine may occasionally give a lot of attention to this conflict, but they have done nothing to actually resolve the matter. A New York-based writer will come to LA once a year to marvel at the health food store Erewhon and say, “How is it even possible to live like this, with all those smoothies and protein shakes and six-pack abs?” Then they go home and talk about their trip as if they just got back from a remote village where they eat processed manure patties and don’t have TikTok.

The reason our society can’t decide which city is better is because it’s actually a much closer race than anyone wants to admit. Ask a New Yorker about his house and he’ll say it’s the “greatest city in the world.” Ask any Angeleno and they’ll say there’s “free parking on Sundays.” I’d say this is as even as possible. In so many ways, LA and NYC are equal in appreciation and significance. Both cities are known for world-class art museums, operas, and architectural landmarks such as the Griffith Observatory and the Times Square M&M Store.

No matter how many times New York and LA make this argument, it’s almost impossible to definitively declare a winner without baseball providing the solution. Choose a category in which you could rate a city and there are pros and cons for both. New York has pizza. Los Angeles has everything that isn’t pizza. Los Angeles has spectacular weather. New York has a place where you can buy batteries, Gatorade and lottery tickets at 3am. Los Angeles has In-N-Out Burger. New York has that Chinese restaurant with a photo of Ed Koch in the bathroom. New York has Madison Square Garden. Los Angeles has Crypto.com Arena. New York has cocaine. Los Angeles also has cocaine.

When I am forced to choose a side, I have great difficulty choosing. Whenever I visit New York, I enjoy the convenience of taking the subway instead of sitting in traffic. When I sit behind the wheel of my private, climate-controlled car, I have to give my full attention to the road. Amid the ever-present traffic, I can leave whenever I want, but I can’t arrive at my destination when I want. With the metro I don’t have to worry about traffic and I don’t have to concentrate on driving. I can view all my Instagram Stories and online shop at the same time. In LA I barely have time to catch up with people I’ve never met and buy a vintage Star Trek windbreaker. Thank you very much, traffic!

Of course, I won’t deny that driving in LA has its benefits. Woody Allen once said that the “greatest cultural advantage of Los Angeles is that you can turn right on a red light.” Believe it or not, you can do that anywhere now, and have been able to do so for decades. Allen may have exaggerated the significance of the right turn at red light, but no one can deny that LA invented the driving maneuver that caused my most terrifying car accident. The city’s philosopher may be songwriter Randy Newman, who wrote the now legendary Angeleno song I Love LA, which is played after every Dodger and Laker home win. The song, which ironically praises Los Angeles’ stunning topography and reminds you of its grotesque class divides, is the satirical anthem that defines a place that lives and breathes irony.

Regardless of who wins the World Series this year, we can all agree that both New York and Los Angeles will continue to lead the country in per capita hyperbole, overconfidence, and overpriced apartments. We have more in common than we have differences. NYC and LA are magnets for creativity, ambition and trust funds. A large part of both cities would like to be in the other city (or Paris) at different times throughout the year. These are towns where transplants either don’t tell you where they’re actually from or don’t keep quiet about it (I’m looking at you: “Person from suburban Iowa who likes the Chicago Bulls”). New York and LA are two different sides of the same shiny coin: one raw and pessimistic, the other ironic and cheerful. When this series is over, we can all finally end the eternal battle. One city will rejoice and another will say, “At least I’m not in San Francisco.”