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Yom Kippur 2024: Conversion and the personal, collective experience

Vaseline October 11, 2024

Yom Kippur and its process Teshuvah immerses us in the depths of our soul, removing layers of self-deception and ego while removing our artificial masks. It forces us to confront the false stories we create about ourselves – stories we desperately cling to as coping mechanisms.

It requires a fearless moral reckoning and an honest inventory of our spiritual lives. We stand before God, stripped of social titles and conventions, exposed in our raw vulnerability. In a moment of existential loneliness, we confront our shortcomings and weaknesses, begging for mercy as we commit to transforming into better, more authentic versions of ourselves. It is an intimate moment, a quiet dialogue with ourselves and God.

However, this past year our dialogues were not personal or lonely. We experienced collective trauma and felt our hearts breaking as one. Our inner worlds have been overshadowed by national sorrow and heroism. We have thought more about Jewish identity and perhaps less about our own spiritual sophistication.

While religious excellence rests on a strong foundation of Jewish identity, heritage and mission, it requires so much more. It requires a personal relationship with God – rooted in the keeping of commandments, fervent prayer, Torah study and the refinement of character. Over the past year, our deep investment in national Jewish identity may have diverted our attention from the inner world of religious piety.

As this great day approaches, we must reflect: How can we reconcile the deeply personal journey of Yom Kippur with the overwhelming collective experiences of the past year? How can we change frequencies and think more personally and less collectively?

An illustrative image of a Torah scroll and a shofar for Yom Kippur. (credit: INGIMAGE)

Breathing new life into an old model

Historically, Yom Kippur was once much more collective than personal. When the Temple stood, the day was deeply rooted in our shared experience as a people, rather than in individual conversion.

Thousands gathered in the Temple’s courtyards, their gaze glued to the high priest as he performed sacred rituals for national reconciliation and liberation. In a moment of profound awe, he entered the inner sanctum, where no one dared tread all year round, to reconcile our nation to our Father in Heaven. As the crimson thread turned white, joy broke out, overwhelming our national confidence that forgiveness had been granted from heaven.

Even the vidu confessionals of that time were shorter and simpler. Our concerns were focused on the position of the nation, and not just on our personal religious struggles.

This year, in the wake of our national tragedy, we are invited to revive that age-old model. We stand before God not only as individuals seeking forgiveness, but also as a people – wounded by grief, bewildered by His mysterious decrees, yet steadfast in our faith, waiting for His guiding hand in the days ahead.

Make the switch

But even given this corporate Yom Kippur option, God still expects personal reckoning, confession, and transformation.

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This day calls for an inner shift, to stand alone before God – not as part of a nation struggling against the tides of history, but as an individual soul navigating the depths of personal responsibility. Yom Kippur demands that we descend into the hidden recesses of our being and face the shortcomings and failures that we so often avoid during the rest of the year.

In the aftermath of the destruction of the Second Temple, Rabbi Akiva, the great sage and visionary, recognized the tension between personal and collective Yom Kippur. In the ashes of that disaster he quoted a verse from Jeremiah (chapter 14) in which he called God “the hope of Israel,” or mikveh Israel in Hebrew.

Playing with the double meaning of mikveh – both “hope” and “ritual prayer” – Rabbi Akiva assured a devastated nation that even without the Temple, God remained their eternal source of purification. Immersion in His presence during the 25 hours of Yom Kippur is said to accomplish the same cleansing as majestic temple rituals.

But his message was not merely a message of reassurance; it also made demands. Although the collective experience of Yom Kippur sans Temple disappeared, the individual responsibility for personal growth on Yom Kippur remained fully intact. Rabbi Akiva refused to absolve us from the personal Yom Kippur trip.

The same goes for us. Despite all that has happened this past year and our shared national trauma, we are still charged with a personal Yom Kippur – with the inner effort of Teshuvahheartfelt confession and refining our character.

Yet the heart is still restless. How can we focus on our own spiritual journey when the suffering of our people is so overwhelming? How can we turn our gaze inward, even for a moment, when grief still weighs so heavily on the hearts of our nation? How can we wrap ourselves in a tallit and create a private space for personal Teshuvahwhile we erect a barrier against the national pain that echoes all around us?

Here are two solutions.

Collective ‘viduy’

Just like Teshuvah has both personal and collective dimensions, and so does vidu – the confession of sins. After describing our first exile, the Torah predicts that we will “confess our national sins” as the first step toward restoration and return.

In fact, when we returned from the Babylonian exile, we engaged in a profound corporate confession, recognizing the many transgressions and betrayals of God that had led to our exile. We understood with painful clarity the sins that had led to historical derailment and national trauma.

Today, we don’t have the same clarity about our collective failures. As a nation, we have shown tremendous courage, bravery and dedication in defending our rights to the land that God promised His children. It is true that we were entering a year of bitter social strife and national division, which undoubtedly played a role in God’s harsh decisions.

However, it feels simplistic and morally questionable to attribute the horrific events of October 7 solely to the social unrest of the previous year. Clearly, there are deeper, unresolved sins that still stand in the way of our full recovery. Tragically, we don’t know exactly what these sins are.

Happy, vidu is still impactful even without specificity. As we recite these Yom Kippur personal confessions, we ask God to accept them not only because of personal shortcomings, but also as a substitute for the unknown sins of our people. If we knew them, we would put them into words; Since we don’t, let’s get personal vidu serve as a collective confession on behalf of these national hidden failures.

Teshuvah is part of the struggle

Furthermore, by strengthening our relationship with God and refining our moral character, we not only increase our personal piety. As we strive to become better people and live more fully in the presence of God, we facilitate the return of His divine presence to a world that has chased Him away in too many ways through violence and the distortion of truth.

Our war has many facets. Our soldiers are on the front lines, courageously protecting us on the battlefield. Yet there is still a battle: the battle for the presence of God in this world. The more successful we are in our own spiritual endeavors, the more victorious we will be in our military struggles.

Embrace the personal journey of Teshuvah. Dive deep into the recesses of your soul and confront the truths within. But don’t forget for a moment the historical significance of this moment. Find a way to see your personal teshuva as an integral part of our collective efforts to bring God back to this broken world.

Us Teshuvah is not merely an individual company. It is a shared mission to restore hope in the midst of darkness and bring God to this world. 

The writer is a rabbi at the hesder Yeshivat Har Etzion/Gush, with ordination from Yeshiva University and a master’s degree in English literature from the City University of New York. He is the author of Dark clouds above, faith below (Kodesh Press), and the forthcoming Reclaiming Salvation: Deciphering the Maze of Jewish History (Mosaica Press).

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