He’s a Grammy-nominated producer, TikTok sensation, and loving boyfriend to one of the biggest stars in the world.

But Benny Blanco – who has been in a relationship with Selena Gomez since 2023 – has no message for him. Growing up in Virginia, “I always felt pretty confident,” says Blanco, 36, who produced hits for Ed Sheeran and Lana Del Rey. “My mom said, ‘You’re the best,’ and my brother was always so kind to me. He always paved the way, always made sure people were nice to me. He’s a sweetheart.”

His family still keeps him grounded, and with his self-deprecating humor and fashion sense (“I love a heel!”), Blanco happily redefines masculinity while embracing chivalry.

When it comes to matters of the heart, there should be “no games,” he emphasizes. “I (still) go all out on every date. It doesn’t mean spending your entire bank account. It means being attentive and listening.”

Blanco enjoys gathering loved ones for themed dinners at his Los Angeles-area home (read on for his top hosting tips!), and he can often be found in the kitchen whipping up his girlfriend’s favorite dishes (homemade Taco Bell and fried pickles , just to name a few).

Despite his enormous success, it is the ‘simple’ things that Blanco enjoys the most.

“I’m a real morning person. It’s my favorite time to spend with Sel because we both wake up really early. It’s like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up,” he says. “I have a true best friend with whom I can do anything in the world, and every day is the best day of my life.”

1. Learn to cook

Even if you’re bad at cooking, your partner will like it because you did it. Ask your partner what he or she wants to eat. Don’t try to cook them a little You wants to eat. If you don’t know how to cook it, learn.

If you don’t know how to learn it, get it from Postmates and put it on a plate and pretend you cooked it. No, lying is bad! We never lie. Especially if you’re a man, we’re disgusting. No one should be watching us. Try to be chivalrous: tell her how beautiful she is. Chivalry is not dead.

(I learned how) to recreate Taco Bell meat. I’ve had a lot of practice, and I think they’re now virtually indistinguishable when you put them side by side. There are so many things you have to do. Some of the meat is a little mixed. It’s disgusting, but it’s delicious. I do it all from scratch.

2. First dates should be experiences

Whatever the date, you want your partner to leave and say, “Oh my God, I’m calling all my friends. This was the craziest thing. We were on the back of a tractor and he spun me around. the…” It has to be something be crazy, because you want to leave an impression. The person is going out for some first dates, and you need to secure your spot.

I’m trying to create a moment in time because everyone is busy, everyone has so much work to do, everyone is so stressed. If we can just sit back and forget about everything for an hour to four hours – if it’s a good date, five – then we’ll be fine. Don’t you sometimes leave a date and think, “Oh my God, who cares? Time flew!”

I go all out for every date. We go all the way for each other. One time Sel said, “Oh, I want to take you on a date.” We were driving somewhere and she had rented out an entire botanical garden for me. She also likes something so simple. For Valentine’s Day, I bought her Taco Bell, made her movie theater nachos, found her favorite Texas pickles and fried them for her. Then (I had) all her candy and Hot Cheetos.

It doesn’t mean you have to spend your entire bank account. The most important thing to do on a date is to listen to what the person is saying. Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Nobody cares.

3. Dress with confidence

If you wear the most expensive piece of clothing that just came out, you are not fashionable. You’re just someone who happens to spend his money. For me it’s all about high-low. Maybe I’ll wear a really nice vintage Prada jacket with something I found at Melrose Trading Post for $10.

I think the best thing is to combine it and be yourself. If you are yourself in your clothes, you will feel more confident. For me, I like to wear a lot of vintage clothes. Some people look good with really fresh clothes. Find your lane and rock it. Don’t try to be someone else.

The last thrift find I’m really proud of is this little pink one Dora the explorer jacket. It’s so cute. It’s a short, pink jacket – I think it’s for a child – and I love it. It makes me feel sexy.

I like to share clothes (with my partner). It is interchangeable. Well, except for some dresses and stuff. They are so hard to put on and take off. I wouldn’t even do it. But I wouldn’t mind wearing a dress as long as it’s nice. I do have a lot of heels. I like a heel. Women’s shoes are so good. Men wear women’s heels. I don’t know, this gentleman does.

4. Self-care is a must

Don’t stink. Do all things. I think it is very important to have good skin. I got a facial and she changed my life. I do what she says. Her name is Lindsay and she works at Artisan of Skin. Wow, I just hooked her up: can I get a discount?

I also don’t believe in always washing your hair or conditioning your hair. I’m very clean, but I don’t shower every day. Some people I know shower two to three times a day, but I feel like the oils on your skin don’t have time to rejuvenate and become juicy.

I like to use a mixture. I want to smell (of) tobacco, but also of cotton candy. I want there to be a smell when I walk by. I want it to smell a little bit masculine, a little bit feminine – I definitely lean a little more feminine in every way.

5. Welcome everyone to your home (within reason)

I love (hosting). It’s so much fun. I love being hosted. (For a) dinner you want to invite people who don’t necessarily know each other. You want some people to meet, and some people to meet who shouldn’t meet.

I like to mix groups of friends. I want someone who writes songs next to an 80-year-old florist. I think age is nothing but a number. I want a three year old to sit next to a scientist and just hear what they’re talking about because I know it’s going to be crazy…

You want to come up with a very extensive menu, something that everyone will enjoy. I usually create a group thread and say, “Hey, what’s everyone feeling? Let’s do it.” We do themes and everyone cooks the theme. You want the right drinks. You want the right music.

I want to create a small world. One of my friends is a great Vietnamese chef. We have a dinner party here and put small wooden baskets and banana leaves on the floor. Everyone just wants to escape to a new place.

6. Treat your mother like a queen

My mother is my best friend. Every Sunday we go to the farmers market. I cook her lunch, we swim, we gossip about things. She sends me things and says, “Do you think it’s true?” I’m like, “I don’t even know who these two people are that we’re talking about.”

My mother likes flowers. For Mother’s Day I give her the same thing every year: I give her a new orchid. She takes such good care of them that before she moved to LA, she had a room with like 25 of them because I would give them to her every year and she would keep them and they would never die.

7. Gift giving is an art

Don’t buy a gift that everyone is going to buy. For me, the best way to do that is to be creative, to listen to something they said in the past and bring it back as a memory.

Most of my gifts are handmade. Let’s say you had the best night at Six Flags and it was your first date. Save that card, frame it and give it to them on their birthday and say, “Oh, this was our first date.” Simple little gestures go a long way.

The first time Sel and I were actually going to be long distance for a while, she made a bear who, when I squeezed his hand, said, “I miss you so much.” You’ll be fine. I’ll see you when I come back.” She’s very good at giving. She does the same thing I do: we make most of our gifts for each other.

8. Say no to ghosting

Completely ghosting someone – I’ve never done that before. You have to be demonic to completely ghost someone. Ghosting is mean! A gentleman shouldn’t do that.

I completely understand if you go out on a date and the guy is completely creepy – you have to freak the hell out of him. But I don’t want to ghost anyone. I always think that when I do something like that, I think of my mother and say, “Oh, I want to treat this person the way I would treat my mother and how I would want someone to treat them.” my mother.”