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João Félix leads the attack as Chelsea hammer eight past Noah | Europe Conference League
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João Félix leads the attack as Chelsea hammer eight past Noah | Europe Conference League

When the idea for the Europa Conference League first emerged in UEFA, it is unlikely that anyone in Nyon envisioned that a club with Chelsea’s resources would one day pump six unanswered first-half goals past an Armenian team which was only founded seven years ago.

The point is that this competition was created for the benefit of the smaller clubs in Europe. There is little to gain for Chelsea, just as the prospect of adding another European trophy to their extensive collection will appeal to supporters, and the truth is that there was something slightly absurd about this 8-0 win over Noah.

This was less of a match and more of a target practice for João Félix, and it spoke volumes that Enzo Maresca was once again able to make 11 changes without disrupting his team’s flow. Chelsea performed well as they maintained their perfect record to top the league stage, while the main positive for Maresca was members of his expensively raised reserves building confidence and momentum. Marc Guiu and Tosin Adarabioyo scored their first goals for the club, Enzo Fernández picked up a hat-trick of assists and Mykhailo Mudryk took the honors after a beautiful curling strike.

This was fun from the start. There was an early attack from Noah, Gonçalo Gregório left alone and free to test Filip Jörgensen with a solid effort, but there was a hopeless naivete in their attempts to play. Chelsea soon awoke from their slumber and the rout should have been underway soon, the visitors cut to shreds by Tyrique George, only for Félix to deny the debutant an assist by diverting his cross from an empty net.

It was a contender for Félix’s miss of the season, although his conviction remained undiminished. For Noah, this was at least a chance to see why the Portuguese forward was once considered one of Europe’s most popular players. Félix had time to do what he wanted alongside the other number 10, Christopher Nkunku, and was nonchalant when another chance came in the 21st minute, although in reality the pressure had increased quite a bit as Chelsea were already 3-0 up then former Atlético Madrid forward scored a fine finish over Ognjen Cancarevic after being released by Fernández.

Christopher Nkunku scored his second and Chelsea’s eighth goal from the penalty spot. Photo: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

Four goals in the right direction, with over an hour to go, Chelsea were able to relax. After twelve minutes the floodgates opened, Tosin nodded into Fernández’s corner and Noah was soon punished again. Gonçalo Silva’s pass over the defense was short and Guiu managed to score with an emphatic finish.

This was a morale-boosting evening. Fernández whipped in another corner for Axel Disasi to head in the third inning. Mudryk made it 5-0 when he cut inside from the left and curled a beautiful shot into the top corner from 25 yards.

Rui Mota, Noah’s manager, had used his pre-match press conference to deliver the message everyone wanted: no, he said, his team would not park the ark. But his humor seemed to evaporate as he watched shots rain down on the away goal. Nkunku and George came close before Disasi turned playmaker, swapping right-back for attacking midfield and releasing Félix, who dived in to score six just before half-time.

The only question that remained was whether Chelsea would ease up in the second half. Maresca made changes, with Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall and Cesare Casadei coming on for Guiu and Fernández, and there was some light relief on the home bench. Nicolas Jackson was very pleased with himself after balancing a cup of soup on Marc Cucurella’s head.

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On the pitch, Félix was hunting for his hat-trick and Nkunku was in danger of scoring. Cancarevic kept going down and asking for treatment. A cynic could have been forgiven for thinking the goalkeeper was doing his utmost to be taken off the pitch.

Noah refused to lie down. It was absurd that they tried to compete with a team blessed with so much depth. Nkunku continued, saw a shot blocked and Cancarevic collapsed with his head in his hands as Nkunku hooked in the rebound.

Remember, Chelsea did this without Cole Palmer, who was allowed to rest his legs on Thursday evening. They even got help from the referees, a call from the video assistant referee for an alleged foul on Dewsbury-Hall, allowing Nkunku to finish the scoring from the spot and strengthen the Premier League’s financial might.