Millennials are in trouble.

According to a new analysis of research published earlier this year by Malwarebytes, millennials are significantly more likely than any other generation to feel comfortable not sharing their online account information with boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses or other partners. They believe that keeping such information secret demonstrates trust between partners.

And yet, Millennials continue to give their romantic partners the same access to their devices, locations, online bank accounts, ride-hailing services, vacation rental platforms, and more as Gen Z partners. This is leading to a crisis of consent among the small number of Millennial partners who agreed: they only share under duress.

The new findings, which come from a follow-up study of data collected in Malwarebytes’ “What’s Mine Is Yours: How Couples Share an All-Access Pass to Their Digital Lives” report, reveal a unique problem for millennials who grew up before the internet invaded public life. Millennials, grappling with eroding privacy standards, aren’t entirely convinced that healthy relationships need to involve such high, digital demands.

A stronger sense of privacy

For millennials, privacy seems sacred.

Millennials in committed relationships scored higher than any other age group in agreeing that they “don’t feel the need to share my device logins or passwords with their partner.” The level of agreement for the same sentiment was significantly lower among Gen Z respondents (57%), Gen X respondents (52%), and Baby Boomer respondents (49%).

Millennials also believed that privacy between romantic partners was crucial to a healthy relationship.

When asked about a similar statement, 73% of Millennials agreed that “keeping your personal login information (account or computer passwords, device PINs, etc.) private in a romantic relationship shows trust between partners.” Again, the percentages of agreement were lower among other age groups, with only 56% of Gen X respondents and 57% of Baby Boomers feeling the same. Gen Z respondents also reported a lower percentage, at 68%.

These two findings don’t by themselves show that Millennials are particularly unique, but it’s at the point where Millennials split off – from Gen Z respondents or older Gen X respondents and baby boomers – that their online beliefs take center stage.

For example, Millennials, Gen X respondents, and Baby Boomers all reported similar rates of refusing to share their locations with their romantic partners via apps like Apple’s Find My, or via third-party apps like Google Maps. When asked if they currently share their locations with their partners in this way, 16% of Millennials answered, “No, and I would never do that.” They were followed nearly hand-in-hand by Gen X respondents (17%) and Baby Boomer respondents (18%).

But when we look at Gen Z, a different perspective on location privacy emerges: Only 10% of Gen Z respondents said they don’t share their locations with their partner via apps and never would. Gen Z respondents, in turn, were the most likely to say that “sharing locations with my partner makes me feel more secure” (85%).

Millennials are unhappy with account sharing and are not convinced about sharing their location. They should report lower rates of such activity with their own romantic partners.

The strange thing is that it isn’t.

Similar parts

Millennials in committed relationships have just as much access to their devices and online accounts as Gen Z respondents: from their computers to their tablets, their messaging apps and their online photo albums.

When asked whether their partners had access to specific types of personal accounts, Millennials and Gen Z reported similar rates of sharing:

• Computer PIN/password (73% of Millennials and 69% of Gen Z)
• Location sharing apps like Find My/Find My Device (71% of millennials and 73% of Gen Z)
• Messaging apps like WhatsApp, Messenger, Viber, WeChat, etc. (55% of Millennials and 52% of Gen Z)
• Food/grocery delivery apps like Uber Eats, DoorDash, Instacart, etc. (63% of millennials and 60% of Gen Z)
• Taxi apps like Uber, Lyft, etc. (57% of millennials and 58% of Gen Z)
• Vacation rental apps like Airbnb, Vrbo, etc. (58% of Millennials and 55% of Gen Z)

While there were indeed differences between the two generations for certain behaviors, including sharing access to email accounts, social media, and phone passwords, the difference in reporting was never large enough to be statistically significant. When it comes to sharing actual account and location access, millennials are much more like Gen Z than they are Gen X and baby boomers.

But sharing does not come without a hitch.

Millennials were more likely than any other generation to say they only shared their account with their partner because they asked them to.

Of the respondents who gave their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses or partners at least some account and app access, 16% of millennials agreed with the following:

“My partner wants to share access to my account, even though I don’t want that.”

That percentage was significantly higher than among Generation Z (9%), Generation X (4%) and Baby Boomers (1%).

Millennials were also most likely to agree that if they gave their partner access to their account, they did so because of threats they had received.

At significantly higher rates than Gen X respondents (2%) and Baby Boomers (2%), and at slightly higher rates than Gen Z respondents (9%), 14% of Millennials agreed with, “My partner has threatened me about sharing account access (e.g., said he would break up with me, harm me physically or emotionally, not talk to me/lock me out, etc.).”

Another dilemma

Millennials in committed relationships are at a crossroads.

As the last generation to grow up without smartphones, their sense of privacy, particularly around location, stands in stark contrast to that of Gen Z. They are less likely to see the value in sharing online account access with their romantic partners, and more likely to say that if they do share such access, it is only because their partner insists.

Exactly where the pressure is coming from is unclear. It could come from relationships with Gen Z partners (the reported average age gap between heterosexual couples in America of 2.3 years allows for intergenerational couples into their late 20s for Millennials and Gen Z). It could also come from other Millennials being influenced by modern dating norms.

Whatever the cause, there’s guidance on how to set up and stick to the type of online sharing that works for every couple. To learn more about consensual location sharing, avoiding online harassment, and the risks couples face when they overshare, visit the Modern Love in the Digital Age hub below.