Love is blind

Week 4 (episode 12)

Season 7

Episode 12

Editorial review

4 stars

****

Photo: Netflix

It’s finally Wedding Week! We have three couples left, and – wait, what? Oh, Marissa’s mother can cut that man’s balls off. CUT THEM OFF! In fact, I’ll get the scissors!! Okay, okay, I don’t actually condone castration or violence against Ramses. I’m sure he would tell me to call for restorative justice no matter what. I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’m just… it’s very, very hard to watch this opening conversation about the divorce.

Marissa is completely blindsided by it. Ramses’ family apparently made him realize that his ex “hurt a lot more” than he realized after the divorce. I don’t know why those conversations couldn’t have happened before he decided to move on Love is blindbut okay. He says his feelings tell him to move on, but he needs to be more logical about the decision. I’m with her when she asks Ramses to be specific and give her some tangible explanations, because what is he actually saying? “It’s about your energy and my energy living and coexisting in the same space, that’s what it is,” he suggests, which sounds like something you’d say during a guided meditation, not when you abruptly stop with a fiance.

What really sucks is that Marissa Ramses specifically mentioned in the pods that guys always love her a lot at first and then one day decide she’s just “too much.” Here he uses the exact same phrase in ending their engagement. For the record, I agree that these two are not a good match. But they’ve been sharing space for weeks now, and I feel like he could have come to this conclusion a little sooner. Marissa doesn’t seem like the type of person who would hide part of her personality or beliefs or whatever it was that was bothering Ramses. At least Hannah and Tim had the decency to end things with their partners before the dress and tuxedo fittings! I guess it’s better than having this happen at the altar, but still.

Marissa believes that Ramses should not have appeared on the show because he has to date for a long time to feel safe enough to get married. Somehow she still looks like that beautiful as she continues to cry harder and harder (the Netflix subtitles eventually say she is “blubbering”). As they hug, she continues to ask Ramses if he is sure. Once it is clear that he has made a decision, she sinks to the floor in tears. She leaves the room without her ring and then doing a confessional while you’re still sobbing? I’d say she’s braver than the troops, but given her military background, she might not appreciate that. The point is, I admire her for sitting in front of a camera while actively processing the fact that the man who got emotional with her when she picked their first dance song two days ago has now changed his mind. Marissa calls her mother. (We don’t get to hear the conversation, but I’m willing to bet it wasn’t very friendly toward Ramses.)

From the way they interact on social media, I can say that it seems like Marissa and Ramses have found a path to reconciliation. I don’t see her being mean to him at the reunion, or wanting the viewers to get mad on her behalf. Still, this heartbreak is new to us viewers, and witnessing its complete devastation makes for a shocking start to the episode.

And then we went straight to a Washington Wizards game. I don’t immediately recognize Tyler and Garrett’s friends from last week, so I’m actually a little confused about what’s going on. For example, did I accidentally tap my remote? Why is there a basketball court on my screen? But oh, okay, this is the bachelor party. Tyler and Garrett shoot hoops and play musical chairs in front of thousands of people, which they seem to enjoy. Good for them. Meanwhile, Ashley and Taylor have a bachelorette party with a sleepover. Taylor says they are both such strong women that they would have ditched their men immediately if something non-negotiable came up. Ashley agrees, but they also note that they need to give their husband grace in this timeline. Plus, men just screw it up. “Hey, hey, hey,” the only man in the “I Do Crew” protests unconvincingly.

On to our first wedding!

We’ll start with Tyler and Ashley. He tells his friends that after the reception he and Ashley are going “to the baby-making station”; Ashley’s friends give her a bathrobe as a gift for “sexy time.” Ashley is so sure of Tyler, who she says protects her emotions. Something “catastrophic” would have to happen in the next few hours for her to say “no.” However, her intuition is also “crazy,” so that could be a weird look on his face when she walks down the aisle. For now, she trusts him 180 percent and is ready to take this leap of faith.

Tyler’s mother (the one he praised during the pods for raising him all alone) comes to him, and we witness the nerves he didn’t show to his boys. She reminds him that he never said he wasn’t sure about Ashley. They hint that his father isn’t invited, but that’s his fault. Ashley’s father is invited because she has found a way to forgive him for the way “he has treated women” and her mother. He advises her to stay in her marriage because “some of us” run away when things get bad and regret it. But he must not give her away; he hands her to her mother halfway down the aisle.

The ceremony naturally starts with a prayer. They both tear up during each other’s vows, which mention God and leaps of faith. The exciting music doesn’t fascinate me. Of course these two say, “I do.” They end the ceremony with the African tradition of jumping on the broom. Ashley, Tyler, and their golden cups celebrate afterwards… and yes, he brings up wanting to have children. I imagine the producers thought this was so cute before the social media discourse started.

And just like that, it’s time for our second and final couple to head to the altar. Taylor is so excited to think about having children and grandchildren with Garrett. He says he has been inspecting his feelings every day to make sure he knows for sure, because they promised each other that they would only say “yes” if she “really meant it.”

Taylor’s mother has written a poem from the perspective of Taylor’s baby hat, which has been transformed into a wedding handkerchief that could be her “something old.” Taylor places the little thing on her head and her mother wipes away tears. On the groom’s side, Garrett gets a chance to spend some time with Taylor’s dad, who helps him with his bow tie. Garrett makes promise after promise about how he will take care of Taylor, respect her, and put her feelings first. As he catches his breath, Mr. Krause assures him that he has his full support. Mr. Krause then breaks down in tears as he remembers that Taylor was with him for two weeks when his brother – whose tie he is wearing – died, and tells Garrett that marriage also means supporting each other through hard times and such to lose. When anyone has talked about Mr. Krause so far, they have given the impression that he was blindsided by the wedding and very insecure about it. But now he just seems excited to welcome a “killer son.”

It’s actually Garrett’s parents who still seem a little tense. Garrett acknowledges their concerns about him leaving for San Diego, but says he thinks he would be a fool not to act if he found someone like Taylor, with whom he feels so good. Ultimately, his mother and father say they support him. While it may seem spontaneous, they know he’s put a lot of thought into it – at least more than when they got married. A nice little reveal is that both Taylor and Garrett’s parents got married on the 13th, which feels just right for this cheesy love story.

The official describes Love is blind as the most important double-blind experiment for these two scientists. They both wrote down their vows. Garrett talks about how perfect Taylor is for him. He keeps the audience laughing as he breaks his emotional promises by committing to making every date as popular as the one in Cabo. Taylor tells ‘G’ that he really sees her, sings his praises and speaks hopefully about their future. She says this process reminded her of apricity, the warmth of the sun on your skin in winter. And she ends by saying that she really caught a big fish. I thought there was one Shrek a reference to something, but other than that, this is pretty much what I expected from them. Unsurprisingly, they both say “yes”!

Garrett then kisses Taylor in their joyful private conversation until she pats him on the chest and says, “Okay, okay, okay, you have the rest of your life.” They ride away in a horse-drawn carriage and assure us in a confessional that love really is blind.

After a few dance shots at their wedding reception and with Ashley and Tyler… that’s it! The final is over. I feel like it’s been such a weird season that this episode doesn’t feel like a satisfying conclusion. Is Ashley a happy stepmom? Was Garrett able to uproot his life and adapt to life in San Diego? And what about all the questions about the other couples that could have been answered with more footage or confessionals? To me, the reunion will feel like the real finale. This week was just something we had to get through first. See you on October 30!

• The mother of Tyler’s children posted a five-part series of claims on Instagram that echo the rumors spreading on social media that may make every cute thing he says in this episode seem devilish.

• Marissa explained on her TikTok that she has rheumatoid arthritis and had a flare-up during last week’s conversation about physical intimacy. So it wasn’t just PMS, which seems like an important context!

• Last week I had the opportunity to interview Alex and Hannah. They were quick conversations, so I couldn’t ask everything I wanted to, but I do think there were still interesting insights from both. I’m sure the Lacheys don’t need any help preparing for the reunion. But just in case, Netflix, give me a call. I’m so serious. I have QUESTIONS!