Erika Jayne says she knew her marriage to Tom Girardi was over when resentment set in.

On Friday August 23 The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 53, opened up about the breakdown of her marriage to the former lawyer, 85, and why she chose to “turn a blind eye” to his alleged indiscretions during an appearance on the Two T’s in a pod podcasting.

Jayne admitted she sold viewers a ‘perfect’ private and public life, saying beforehand there were ‘two phases’ to the end of her relationship. RHOBH despite their differences behind the scenes. Only after “20 years” did she begin to choose to ignore “all kinds of nonsense” to protect her peace.

“You start ignoring the nasty comments or you start ignoring the fights,” she explained. “You just want to keep the peace. I don’t know if that’s turning a blind eye. I mean, in some cases it is. I definitely looked the other way when I knew Tom had other women in his life, just because I didn’t want to deal with it.”

Instead of confronting Girardi about his alleged infidelity, Jayne said she “went inward and got to work.”

“I think when you get tired of it and you leave and you’re like, ‘It is what it is,'” she continued. “For me, it was a gradual process. Obviously, every woman is different.”

Over time, Bravolebrity said, her “indifference” turned into “contempt,” adding, “If you have contempt in a relationship, it’s over.”

“I think there was a lot of contempt towards the end of my relationship from both parties,” she recalled. “Because I often felt like my marriage was being pushed aside and wasn’t real. And there’s no way you can love this man (but) I actually did.”

On November 3, 2020, Jayne filed for divorce after 21 years of marriage. A month after the news of her split, a source told PEOPLE that Girardi’s alleged infidelity was the reason behind the couple’s split.

“The reason she divorced Tom is because he cheated on her with multiple women,” a source close to the couple said. Jayne claimed she had “known about his infidelity for years” but wanted to “save the marriage.”

“When she was performing on Broadway last week, he ditched her and went to hang out in the city instead of supporting her and going to her shows,” the insider continued. “She realized she was never going to be a priority to him and that was her breaking point.”

Never miss a story: Sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of PEOPLE, from celebrity news to compelling human-interest stories.

In December 2020, Girardi, a now disgraced and disbarred attorney, became entangled in a tangled web of litigation regarding his alleged embezzlement of more than $15 million in client funds for his own personal expenses. His legal troubles spilled over to Jayne, who was named in a fraud case and faced multiple civil lawsuits for allegedly participating in the embezzlement of said funds.

Jayne has long denied any knowledge or involvement, and in August 2022 she was acquitted of wrongdoing in a criminal case. Since then, she has continued to fight various civil cases and public opinion.