MTV held its annual Video Music Awards tonight, aka the only major awards show you’re likely to go to that’s titled, “Holy shit, did Chappell Roan win a crossbow?” as I watched. (FYI: Chappell Roan had a crossbow.) In between the speeches, the performances, the bit where Katy Perry demanded that we all acknowledge that she’s still relevant – something every relevant person does all the time – and more, the network that used to air music videos did hand out some real music video awards, recognizing their exceptionally populist musical greatness for another year.

Sabrina Carpenter, for example, can now add “Beat Beyoncé and Taylor Swift at the same time” to her resume for the rest of her life, with her track “Espresso” topping the charts for Song Of The Year. Not that Taylor didn’t have Moon People at her feet early on: she won early on for Best Collaboration and Song Of Summer, both for “Fortnight,” featuring Post Malone. In the genre mines, Lenny Kravitz won Best Rock Song for his track “Human,” Tyla won Best Afrobeats for “Water,” and Benson Boone took home Best Alternative for “Beautiful Things.” And if you want a study in contrasts, Megan Thee Stallion won Best Trending Video for “Mamushi,” while Perry (who did a greatest hits performance) took home “VMAs Most Iconic Performance” for her rendition of “Roar”… which she did in 2013. (And a great performance it was! We’re just saying, it’s a very “What have you done for me lately?” kind of win.)

More coming soon…

Updated list of VMA 2024 winners:

Song of the summer: Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone, “Fortnight”

Most Iconic VMA Performance: Katy Perry, “Roar”

Song of the year: Sabrina Carpenter, “Espresso”

Best cooperation: Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone, “Fortnight”

Best alternative: Benson Boone, “Beautiful Things”

Best rock: Lenny Kravitz, “Human”

Dear Afrobeats: Tyla, “Water”

Best trending video: Megan Thee Stallion with Yuki Chiba, “Mamushi”